“Where’s my daddy?”
The three words I dread the most. The one question I will never have an answer for. It always seems to come on our roughest days, because he knows he needs more than I can provide, because he knows my weaknesses, because there are traits he didn’t inherit from me that I am clueless about, because sometimes you just need your dad, because there are some things that are inherently male that I will never understand.
Three little words encompass my greatest fears. Getting pregnant at 17 was scary but I knew I could love, provide and care for my child. Motherhood didn’t scare me, finding the words to explain to my child why he didn’t get a daddy, now that was terrifying. How do you explain to a child that his dad was nothing more than a child himself, that his dad wasn’t lucky enough to have the supportive family I did, that his dad was scared of the things he thought he could never provide? How do you explain that its okay to be mad and sad and confused about the whole thing? Without downplaying what happened to him and how he feels about it, without letting him think a father abandoning his child is okay, without making him feel like its his fault?
At first it was simple, he lives far away, he works alot, he loves and misses you. Now he is in school, and he will see other kids with parents who live out of town and work alot and who still see their dads. He sees people with not only dads but step dads too. Now he has learning to ask for him in another language.
“Ou est mon papa?”
How do I put aside my anger and frustration, my hurt and abandonment, and calmly rationally explain to my son why he has noone around to call dad. Because once upon a time I thought I was in love and we would in this together and now I’m here making excuses for your cowardness while you make jokes about how scary the words “I’m late” are as if you have any idea about half the responsibilities I have.
My initial reaction probably looks like I have just been slapped, and I quickly try to regain my composure, “He lives far away remember baby?”. For the moment he is appeased, for the moment that is enough, for the rest of our night nothing is different and yet he needs extra snuggles tonight, extra reassurance.
“You’re my best friend, je t’aime maman”
And for now that’s enough.
YM Blogs Contest!
July 19th, 2010 . Posted in blogging/internet, by Kris, Links on YM, teen pregnancy & parenting | 1 Comment »Tags: blogging, blogs, commenters, contest, entries, free, freebies, post-off, posters, teen moms, WIN, winning, young mommies, young moms
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AUG20: This contest is now closed! Click here to find out the results of who won! 🙂
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I’m happy to announce our first contest here on YoungMommies.com! Who knew it would take 10 years, I guess we are behind the curve and just focused on hanging out together more than promoting our site. But we gotta get some energy and publicity infused, so here we go! 🙂
This contest is the first of 12 great monthly contests, the first prize of each one being a brand new copy of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”!
We’ll choose a different runner-up prize as well for some contest. This month’s runner up is a fun Summer Prize Pack, including a pack of inflatable beach balls, a portable cloth bag (with a little Canadian pride, whether you live here or not, I figure it’s a fun extra!), a couple packs of Trident fruit layers gum, and a lightweight kids’ stainless steel water bottle to tote to and from the beach and other summer activities.
This month’s contest will be all about the YM Blogs and getting them rolling again. We have some new mommies joining us as Authors and will have some new posts up for you to comment on. The Contest will be open to both Authors AND commenters, so if you’re interested in becoming a contributor to the Blogs, you can find out how on the YMBoards (register to become a member). The only requirement is that you be a young/teen mom or young/teen mom-to-b*e!
The contest will run for one month. So please make sure you add your posts and make your comments before the end of the day on Thursday August 19th. On the 20th, we’ll draw the names of both the winners. One of the winners will be chosen based on the number of entries (both posts on the Blogs and comments combined) and the other winner will be chosen randomly from the number of valid entries**.
Please let all the young moms you know about this contest, as it’s open to any young mom, NOT just the ones that are already members of the site! 🙂
See below for definitions of who may enter and what is considered a valid entry and enjoy the contest!!!
* Contest participants: You must must MUST be a young/teen mom or young/teen mommy to be. If you’re not already a member of the YM Boards and/or you haven’t posted a Salute, you’ll need to do so to show that you’re in fact who you say you are. I’m sorry for this extra loophole but I don’t want just anyone to be able to crash the contest and defeat the entire purpose of our site which is helping young mommies!!!
** Valid entries: To be sure we know your entry is valid (and not a spambot!), you’ll need to include some info relevant to the blog post and/or the YM Contest. So if the topic of the post is about a young mom who’s having issues with a baby dad, you can comment something about your own experience with that topic or express your sympathy for the moms going through that situation or at the very least expressing how you enjoyed the post and writing and your hopes for winning the contest.