The Fight Against Fakers

July 31st, 2009

Have you heard about the person who faked her baby’s death?!

Here’s an article on the topic… I was sad and upset to hear about it, but unfortunately, not terribly surprised!

Over my past 10 years running communities and groups online, I’ve seen more fakers and lurkers and weirdos out there than I care to remember!!

We do get to enjoy meeting new friends and forge some wonderfully close relationships with our online mommy crew, but the darker side of the internet is waiting as well.

In the Young Single Mommies Community, we occasionally had a male member try to join to hit on some of the single women in the group. One time in the YM Community, we had a young women join and we found the link to her blog. It talked about soccer and her social life and everything except the pregnancy she was telling us all about (and included pictures of a slim young woman… hmmm, I find it hard to believe you are 7 months pregnant?!).

In the YM Boards, we have had more than our share of fakers, including one young woman who stole photos of her sister and nephew and assumed their identity. She tried to defend her lying because she had been pregnant herself but had lost the baby. While this is a sad situation, it still doesn’t excuse convincing a few dozen women that you are a real mom of a baby and wasting our time with questions and stories that turn out to be lies.

No wonder we’ve developed so much security and rules to try to protect those of us who *are* real mothers and are just trying to find support and advice. For example, on the YM Boards, we now post “Salutes” (pictures of us and our children that include proof of the date) to gain access to more personal forums and member photos.

What motivates young women to pretend to be teen moms? Is it a perception that it is “cool” to be a pregnant teen? Is it a way for girls to try out the experience of being 16 and pregnant without having to actually go through the reality of it all?

What do you think??

Tips for posting pics online

April 29th, 2009

Although sharing photos of your kids is easier than even thanks to photo-sharing websites, social networking sites, and online galleries, it also means that it’s easier for everyone to access your pictures (including some people you may not want to share them with).

Here are a few tips to think about when you’re posting pictures online:

1. Know your audience. Think about who will have access to the pictures. Check the privacy settings of your album – are you opening it up to friends and family, to a site or board of a limited number of members, or to the whole internet?
2. Protect your identity. Watermark your photos with your name, e-mail, or other ID. This can make it less tempting for a faker to try to pass them off as their own.
3. Choose carefully. Only share a limited amount of pictures and be aware of what information is on them. Even with a strategically-placed facecloth, that cute picture of your child in the bath could be used for purposes you really didn’t intend.
4. Maintain control. Try to make sure your pictures are stored in a place where you have (and will continue to have) access to them. Be aware of any rights you may be transferring over when you submit a picture to another site (e.g. baby contest).

I’ve posted some more specific tips for pics on the YM Boards as well!

Keep those pics coming, but keep them as protected as you can. 🙂

moms networking?

December 11th, 2008

So with the crazy pace that things are changing, with all our social media tools out there, will networking between moms become easier? Will we be able to connect with other women like us and will we be able to take it beyond just supporting each other in an emotional sense?

I’m on the lookout for women’s businesses to support, like buying Christmas gifts from home-based businesses instead of at the “big box stores”. Maybe I should start looking at Etsy, there seems to be a lot out there. I received my order today from Mabel’s Labels and am super pleased. Maybe YM can do a fundraiser with them next year?

Another topic for discussion – what about websites for women run by men? I have big issues with this. I saw a local website recently and out of curiosity checked out their forums but when I saw the Admin posting (with a pic of *himself*), I was totally turned off immediately. I have similar concerns about sites like iVillage and the brand new Momversations.com – who’s behind the wheel? Who is truly benefiting from this?

I guess I’m more of a grass-roots girl myself, but I fear that the social media & networking advantages we have today may just get turned into yet another money-maker for “the man” and will use women’s needs and internet usage for their own benefit – much like advertising brands prey on women’s insecurities.

How can we use the internet to make sure all of women’s energy (as we blog and post and network and support each other) comes back to help ourselves in the long run??

Blogging Mommy is…Lisa

December 2nd, 2008

Lisa, Mommy of two sons  Riley and Brennan


How old are you now and how old is/are your munchkin(s)?
I am 23 years old (08/26/1985) Riley is 4 years old (10/06/2004) Brennan is 6 months old (05/22/2008)


If you could describe your child in 3 words, what would they be?
Riley is a very strong willed, stubborn 😛 and caring child
Brennan is a snuggle muffin who is very determined and relaxed


What’s an average day like for you these days?
Well an average day for us is pretty busy not much time to rest but nearly  every minute is jam packed with fun and surprises. The boys are up for around 7:30, they are/get changed, diapered, cleaned. then it is breakfast for Riley usually blue berry pancakes and Brennan is nursed, My daycare kids arrive around 8:00am they will come and play inside or outside/ do an activity, arts and crafts, baking, sometimes home work and then Riley and the daycare kids are brought to the bus stop and sent off to school. Brennan has some cereal around 9 usually mixed with his newest food he has been introduced to (pears right now) then we have lots of play, songs, changes, and naps until we get Riley from the bus at 12. Riley eats lunch at 12:30 then Brenny poo has sweet potatoes and carrots at 1 and we will go outside, color, work on numbers, colours, letters, play, and nap, and often do some errands until 3:50 when the daycare kids are done school. Riley and the kids have snack and repeat morning activities and then go home at 4:30 then dinner is made and eaten, baths are given sometimes a little TV, baking, arts and crafts, play and errands then bed time at 7:30 for Riley Brennan has a nap at 7:30 but is up again from around 8pm-10 then  a last feeding and he is asleep until around 2am for another feeding  and then 4-5am for another and we start all over 😀


If you had a day all to yourself (kid-free & lottery-financed), how would you spend it?

Hmmmm probably a spa, shopping, out to dinner with friends I have not been able to spend much time with in the last couple years , probably a pretty simple relaxing day 😀


What would you say your parenting style is like? I am very much into attachment parenting and child led parenting until a certain age, I feed Brennan on demand and will nurse as long as we are both comfortable, we try to be clothies And as organic as we can, I am strict with Riley at this age because I believe a child at a certain age and maturity level need limits and rules, we use time outs for discipline and believe communication is the key on both ends. We try to have as many activities, fun and positive reinforcement as much as possible. And so far it has been working for us 😀 truelty I believe, you can never have enough love and kids need room to grow.


What do you feel you have enough of in life?  I believe we have plenty of love , care, and communication

What do you want more of? Space, our house is 1400sq ft but we have allot of stuff and I cannot wait until we build our house 2009-2010

Less of? hmmm  I can’t really think of anything

How “blended” is your family? Are you still with the dad(s) of your kid(s)? Who has whose last name in the family? Our family is quite blended, Both boys are my biological babies , Riley is not Chad(my husband’s) bio dad but has been his father figure since he was 1 and a half years old. Riley’s bio father is not a suitable father or figure for him in any way and after yrs of abuse I left Riley’s bio father and he and his family have made no effort to be in Riley’s life at all. Chad is Brennan s bio father and             Chad and I were married August 31st 2008


What are some of your big pet peeves? Poor hygiene, bad /careless drivers, selfishness.
What are the most unique things about yourself? hmm I can be very creative and outgoing and I am, told easy to talk to and understanding
and finally, what’s your writing/blogging history and style? I don’t think I have a particular style. Throughout high school I blogged but only a couple of times since then so I’ve got to get back into the groove of things 😀