Every mother has their own breaking point, and that point may be different for every mother at any given moment with any aged child. For me it was my 3 week old son’s non-stop crying for 2 hours from 3:30 am until 5:30 am after a similar night the night before and then a long day out and not getting home until 11:30pm. So what do you do when you reach this point? How do you keep from completely losing it? After 2 hours of his screaming inconsolably I put him down in his bassinet walked out of the room shut the door and screamed for less than 10 seconds to release my frustration because at that point he was reacting to my feelings and my stress as much as if not more than he was reacting to his own. I screamed and that went back into the room reswaddled him the way he likes it and cuddled him close while telling him how much I loved him and how thankful I was to have him, after about 15 minutes of this he finally settled down and went to sleep. But the next morning my mom freaked out on my for how I had handled the situation and told me that all the neighbors had heard me and were judging me enough as it was. I believe I handled the situation the best i could at that given moment, and if it had happened right now I could have handled it so much better but at that point I couldn’t. The judgment from my mother however made me feel like I was an awful mother, that judgment and telling mothers they can’t deal with their emotions first is what leads to resentment towards the child.
YMBlogs ~ young mommies' voices!
Written by young mommies! Society seems to have a lot to say about teen pregnancy and young moms. Well guess what? We have some things we’d like to say back! We’re more than a stereotype. Young moms can be great moms.
I agree with the other ladies, you definetly did the right thing. The worst thing you could do in that situation is to NOT take a minute or so to relax! Don’t be so hard on yourself and when someone tells you they think you did the wrong thing tell them to mind their own bussiness..everyone handles stress in different ways and if you needed to let out a scream then so be it, at least you didnt hurt your child. & A trick you could try to make it not as loud would be to scream into a pillow.
Wow I can so totally relate as well and I agree you did the right thing!
I had almost the exact same thing happen when I was a single teen mom with my first baby and I just literally put her down on the (soft carpeted play area of the) family room floor and had to just walk away for a minute to be sure I wouldn’t shake her!
I tell parents again and again that you need to do whatever it takes to keep your child safe. If anyone tells you that *this* is being a bad parent, they should think about what might happen if your own mothering instincts of preservation of your baby don’t kick in! this is much much better than the alternative and I think a lot of young moms (single or otherwise) have overwhelming amounts of pressure on them and this “breaking point” is something to be aware of. Thank you very much for sharing this with us!
Thanks. I seriously debated whether or not I should post this because it borders on “bad mommy territory” but I figured if I went through it there must be other moms who went through it and feel just as crappy about it as I did. Your comment reinforced this for me 🙂
You absolutely did the right thing and you should be proud to know it. This breaking point is when even the best of the best mother’s can make mistakes that they will regret. Some moms at this point will shake their baby or harm them in other ways when they are this exhausted and desperate for quiet. I know I have left the room to scream and with my first living at home I too was told how horrible of a mother I was but the bottom line is that after you vent even if it is just to let out a yell when you walk back into the room you have a chance to try again to calm this relentless being without losing your sanity.