|
|
|
Week 30
Milestones: Baby is now about 3 pounds and is starting to grow hair! My Journal: Well, I've reached the "home stretch" now, the last 1/4 of my pregnancy. I've started thinking in terms of how many weeks (or days!) are left as opposed to how many weeks along I am. Only 9 weeks to go now, and possibly less! I've been really feeling a big push these days to get everything ready while I'm still up to running around. We did a lot of shopping this past week, for baby supplies as well as Christmas gifts. I have all of my Christmas shopping done, except for a few more gifts for Harmony and Paul (I have some things for each of them, but with both of them having a birthday next month in addition to Christmas, I still need to do a bit more shopping). The shopping for baby supplies was really fun - we decided to get all of the pharmacy/medicine/care stuff out of the way so we'd have the essentials. We already had a stash of diapers and wipes, and now we've got the baby wash, shampoo, Tempra, soothers, etc.! Paul was really cute in the store - making fun of a lot of the baby items ("Wow, good thing we got the extra-large nose sucky thing"). I think as much as he makes fun of things, he really enjoys all this "new dad" stuff... I feel like a new mom sometimes too, I have to admit! A lot has changed since 6 years ago when I was getting ready for Harmony, that's for sure. But it's nice to have the experience of having done it before to know what we'll need. Although we already had size 1-3 diapers, we bought our first pack of "newborn" size diapers this week and of course I couldn't resit opening up the pack to take one out - they are sooo teeny tiny! I literally burst into laughter and a few tears when I saw it, and called for Harmony and Paul to come and see how little and cute the diaper was. I can hardly imagine how small he will be when he arrives... in a way he feels really "big" now because of the rate he's been growing at (and because of his cramped quarters!), but I know that when we are holding him for the first time, we will be amazed at how small he is. Speaking of Avery's arrival, it seems that I can't seem to think of anything else these days! My thoughts have really turned towards all the specifics of labour, delivery, our hospital stay, etc. This week I've started planning for packing my hospital bag (the packing list is made up and printed), and have some clothes set aside for Avery to wear in the hospital - a half dozen sleepers and undershirts with a couple of nice outfits for pictures and coming home. I also wrote out my birth plan, taking into account the fact that there's a good chance Avery will arrive before the C-section date and I will get to give the VBAC a try. It has been so cute looking over all those clothes and picturing him wearing them in the hospital. I picked the smallest outfits I have and they should fit just perfectly. Some of them were outfits Harmony wore in the hospital, and she was only 7lbs, 6 oz. (and lost weight after birth as well, so she was under 7 lbs at one point!), so even if Avery is born a little small, they should be just fine. I even washed his tiny socks, and Paul was asking me how those tiny things could possibly avoid getting lost in the wash! I also did some research to help make the big decisions about who's getting what surgery in the hospital - and we've decided that other than the C-section, we'll stay as intact as possible, thank you very much! This includes both Avery (no thanks to the circumsision) and myself (no thanks on getting my tubes tied). I thought both of these decisions would be difficult to make (and was dreading even starting the process because I was worried Paul and I would argue over the circumsision issue and the I'd feel really torn about getting my tubes tied or not), but once we looked into things, the choice was pretty clear! I had been against circumsision from day 1 (actually from since I was pregnant with Harmony), and after Paul read the information about what it involved, etc., he agreed with me that it was unecessary. As for getting my tubes tied, there was a lot of conflicting information out there - women who had experienced something called post-tubal ligation syndrome and were warning others against getting their tubes tied, and Dr.s who argued that PTS didn't really exist. But what really convinced me was making a comparisson table of tubals vs. vasectomies. Even just gathering the medical facts (how long it takes, how long it takes to recover, possible side effects, possible complications!!!), I could see that it would be much less complicated and much less risky for Paul to be the one to go in at some point after Avery is born. The information that bothered me the most was that if a tubal "failed" (and a pregnancy occured), it would be much more likely to result in a tubal pregnancy, whereas if a vasectomy failed, it would result in a normal pregnancy. Additionally, the failure rate of tubals is higher than that of a vasectomy, and it's more likely to fail in younger women. I don't care for those odds, especially since my body has been through so much already with the miscarriages and complications during them. A tubal pregnancy would be something I just don't think I could cope with, not to mention some of the physical side effects of just getting your tubes tied in the first place. Also, even though my OB told me it wouldn't take much longer or affect my recovery/healing, I would rather just keep this birth experience (and possible Cesarean surgery) as simple as possible and try to cope with healing from it as best as possible (it will be challenging enough as is!). Part of being very focused on planning my birth/hospital experience has been looking back on the experience I had with Harmony. For years, I really criticized myself for the things that didn't go the way I planned and some of the emotions I felt. Ironically, looking back in more detail has helped me to "let go" a little bit of the negative feelings I've had over those experiences. Even though I didn't get to hold her right away after her birth, or nurse her and bond with her in that first hour, or have the labour and birth I wanted, I am starting to forgive myself because I am starting to see that I really did the best I could. I made the best choices I could have made, given the information and experience that I had at the time. I am starting to feel less guilt and regret over what went wrong during Harmony's first few days (and even first few months) of life and starting to feel more positive about all the things that went right. I am reading one book in particular that critiques the over-emphasis of the "you must bond immediately!" pressure that new mothers feel, and places more weight on the overall relationship between mother and baby and how well they find a rhythm together. Some of the things the author recommends doing in the first few months are exactly what I did instinctively with Harmony, like talking to her all the time, being a better "toy" than any $50 gadget on the market, responding to her needs right away without feeling like I was "spoling", etc. And looking at her today, I know that I have done and am doing a good job of raising her - the bonding we've had in the nearly 6 years since her birth have more than made up for my losing the chance to "bond" during the first 6 hours of her life when I was unconcious. I am hoping that I'll remember all of this for after Avery's birth, so that I will be able to feel that I tried my best and that since I'm determined and proactive in being a loving parent, we'll have a positive bonding experience no matter what challenges life throws our way, in the hospital and beyond... Test Results/Ultrasounds/Appointments: Going for my 30-week appt. tomorrow. Physical: I'll preface this section this week by saying that this wonderful baby is absolutely worth every ache and pain and I wouldn't trade the experience of being pregnant for the world. The being said... ooooh, my back! This baby is getting pretty heavy now, and I am starting to feel it physically. My lower back is starting to ache continuously, and I'm having a lot of trouble getting comfortable sleeping. As such, I am really not getting that much sleep these days. I go to bed around 10 or so at night, am usually able to fall asleep by 11pm, but when I get up in the early morning (4 or 5am) to pee, I am often unable to go back to sleep! The plus side is that it has been helping me adjust my nap schedule to be earlier in the afternoon (I'm tired by 1pm instead of waiting until 2pm), and that Harmony and Paul are getting some pretty yummy breakfasts that I don't often have time to make (like banana bread, which takes 1 hour to bake). The negative side is that I'm often feeling very tired throughout the day since I didn't get enough sleep. I'm hoping this might correct itself as I start waking earlier to go pee (I actually feel pretty lucky I'm only up once in the night and only at 4 or 5!), because then maybe my body won't feel like convincing me it's close enough to morning-time to get up anyways. Another discomfort these days has been Avery's mega acrobatics. I love those little kicks and wiggles, and he's had the hiccups a few times now, which has been too cute! But he's also still trying to get comfortable and sometimes stretches my belly right out to a very painful shape! I think he had the hang of the "head down" thing for a few days, but since then he's been back to flipping and rolling. He has been an active baby since 4 months, and things haven't changed in that department... even with all these movements, he is not slowing down. So right now I'm just trying to enjoy the normal movements, and I chat back to him as usual when I know he's awake. But then when he gets into those really uncomfortable spots, I usually just try to rock back and forth or walk around a bit or something to try to get him settled back down again. Weight Gain/Food: I'm up to a total gain of 17lbs now, and trying not to stress too much about it. So maybe I won't be able to stick with my "20lbs or less" goal, but there's still a chance I can manage to only gain up to 25, which is still on the lower end of the average pregnancy weight gain (and still only half of what I gained with Harmony!). I have definitely still been feeling more hungry (and especially thirsty!) but trying to eat healthy foods most of the time (I should probably kick the Girl Guide Cookie habit though - good thing the second box is almost gone). Still going to aquafit, and will probably try to keep going another 4-6 weeks, as long as I'm still able to drive. Emotional: Well, as much as I think the "getting ready for baby" urges are sometimes positive and motivating, they also tend to make me a little restless, stressed, and agitated. Sometimes it's literally a feeling of not being able to sit still, and being frustrated about all the things left on my "to do" list. And sometimes if I'm getting really into something (like writing my birth plan, researching medical stuff, etc.), I'll keep at it even when I'm tired and it's time to sleep. I think I've also been a little grumpy about not sleeping well to begin with, and the back-aches and some of Avery's uncomfortable stretches, etc. It's a good thing that the "getting ready for baby" list is finite and most of it will be done soon, so maybe then I can rest easier.
|
